My Amygdala Is An Asshole!

Yep, that almond-shaped mass of gray matter inside each cerebral hemisphere, involved with the experiencing of emotions is acting like an unruly three-year-old throwing a fucking tantrum in the middle of the store simply because it can! At least that is what it feels like right now.

My amygdala and I are having some words, which is also ridiculous because that involves my pre-frontal cortex and it pretty much is a doormat when it comes to the little almond-shaped asshole screaming "Danger, Danger" at EVERYFUCKINGTHING!

It is a hyperactive asshole, who in reality thinks it is actually protecting me from something. I appreciate the efforts... but... Zeus on roller skates! Stop!

Now, you may have noticed I started this post just diving into the deep end of an emotional occurrence that is dominating my damn life right now. This crap is not fun and for those of you who know me, you know I like to point out the absurdities of the human condition and have a good laugh at myself, but that I am not always fun. I have to keep this space real and honest and right now that involves talking about my brain and how it is currently wired in a fucked up way. I thought my sharing might help some of you!

Lucky for me, a brilliant, and I mean BRILLIANT person by the name of Faith G. Harper has a Ph.D. in this shit and wrote a book explaining how to UNF#CK YOUR BRAIN! The nitty-gritty writing style and the curse-laden book is exactly what I need right now and it is providing some tools to look at TRAUMA (another asshole) in a whole new light.

Again, lucky for me I have a therapist, who is trauma-informed and even more brilliant than the author of the book! She is so good, I find myself figuring shit out about my life hours and days later, and I have no idea what she said or did that put me on the trajectory of unfucking my life! Sneaky therapists are the best therapists!

Back to what I want to convey! All of us can benefit from unfucking our lives because I think if we really look at our life, we will all find something we want or need to change. It may be a small one-off kinda thing or it could be a deep-rooted fucking pattern of dysfunction going back to a traumatic event, that is causing us distress. While we cannot change what has happened to us, or around us, we can change the way we respond to events that fire up the little assholes in our brains. Yeah... I am looking at you amygdala!

I am lucky to have the ability to get the resources I need to help me dig through the truckloads of shit I am currently dealing with internally and externally. Hello, COVID stress, you little bastard! If you can get one thing, get this book and really read it because it changes the way we understand our anxiety, depression, and triggers. It is also a quick read and I think most people will relate to it if they can get past the language.

IT is worth it. You are worth it.

I am worthy of being my best self and damn it, I am going to keep shoveling and buying bigger and stronger shovels until I get my feet on solid ground again. In other words, I am going to deal with the newest version of my shit!